From now on I will try to write everything I feel,

so that if I ever feel ungrateful,

I will read what I've felt, and I will try to move on and be a grateful young lady.

[Tribute to my handsome and cute Father]

--

Two years ago, 2014.

There is me, the happy me, the dreaming me.

The optimist me.

But again, life didn't go as well as I planned.

I was in High School. Senior year was the right time to dream as high as you can. The right time to fight and reach what you always dream about. I remember when my mother was sick, she asked me 

"Would you like to be an engineer?"

I said I wouldn't. I wanna be a doctor, like her, my father and brother. I never imagined that one day, I'll become a real engineer.

After national examination ended, I went to Surabaya. I took 2 courses (read: bimbingan belajar) and I also had a private teacher. Yes, those were things I do to be well-prepared for the college test (SBMPTN). I felt like I was so ready, and I could get everywhere I wanna be.

The fact is I was wrong. This life was a piece of s*it back then, and until now, honestly.

I studied really hard every night, and still, no universities allowed me to be their student. I read all of my books, done all of the questions, and the result remain the same.

Until my father said;

"Kamu beneran ga mau coba ITS? Bagus loh.. bener-bener gamau kuliah teknik? Dulu mama sempet kasih saran loh.. Coba aja daripada menyesal. Lulusan teknik juga bagus"

and that moment was my turning point, it opened my eyes. I googled everything I could, and I said to myself;

"Oke yah, dicoba deh ga ada salahnya. Ga ada test juga kok soalnya, cuman butuh nomer SBMPTN*"

*get the information: PROGRAM PKM MANDIRI ITS

"So far, you have already done your best, dek. Kamu nganggur 1 tahun juga gapapa. Pokoknya ayah maunya kamu kuliah negeri, apapun, kalau bisa yang TOP.  And I'm so proud of you no matter what. Ayah lebih setuju kalau kamu kuliah teknik, cukup kakakmu aja yang jadi dokter.."

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Doa seorang ayah. Semoga yang terbaik..

One day, me and Ayah were at the airport, we were going back to Mataram. The announcement of PKM ITS was accelerated and I was shocked! I didn't want to open the web because I was sick of being rejected many times by many universities.

Then my dad calmed me down and said, "Tenang dek, sini nomermu mana, biar ayah aja yang buka pengumumannya", and I said "Pokoknya apapun pengumumannya ya yah, ayah diem aja. Gausah kasitau aku ya yah, nanti aja pas di mataram. Pokoknya ayah diem aja"

Yah, you know, my dad is not that kind of person. He went outside, opened the web and he texted me,

And it was the first time I heard a good news about me, accepted in ITS. Aku merinding, sumpah, demi apa? Aku keterima? It's not a dream?????!

Thank you so much Ayah for always supporting me. I'm so glad to have you as my father. I wish that I could do something to make you here, by my side. I wish you the highest Jannah with mom. I miss you dad,  dr. M. Farid Wajdi, Sp.PD., and also mom, dr. Retno Werdiningsih Sp.KK. I love you.

-Your forever little daughter